Monday, June 9, 2014

I wish I didn't feel like I HAD to...

When you work outside of the home, you know what you need to do. Your boss sets guidelines and you follow them. You have reviews and get raises. You KNOW what to do.

When you are a stay at home mom, you know what you have to do, but what is enough, without overdoing, or not doing enough?

When you stay home, you wonder if your husband comes home and asks himself, "what the heck did she do all day?"

I am a perfectionist. I will admit it. When Hubby was home with the kids I would ask the same question. So how do I know I am "doing enough", so he doesn't ask the same question.

I find myself working myself to death, even when I am sick. How do I figure out what needs to be done, what should be done and what can wait?

So these are the questions of the day.

I have decided to conquer one big project a week. Last week it was the closet. This week it is cleaning the carpets. I have no idea what next week will be. But I think if I do one big project, then split the other days between the smaller cleaning chores, I will be OK.

I know, I sound nuts right? But that is what it is like being a stay at home mom. We feel we have to justify our time. Yes, we want to sit and enjoy a TV program. Yes, we want to take a nap with the kids. But in our soul, we wonder if Hubby will think we are being lazy.

It doesn't matter that our days are filled with, cooking, child care, changing a hundred diapers, keeping fighting children at opposite sides of the house, meal planning, the list goes on and on. Why do we still feel we are not doing enough?

I think this is something I need to work on...