Work - It is never ending.
After months of working so much overtime, I instituted new hours at work. I told them that I would leave by 5 every day except month end. I need to get some of my life back. The stress of working all of those hours (to support my family) did me in.
I had my one-on-one with my manager today. This is a monthly meeting where we review how things went during the month, what I did great, what I need to work on and above all, what she can do to help me. Toward the end of the meeting, she asked me how my work/life balance goal was going. I instantly broke down crying. I felt like such a fool. I told her that with Nolen going back to work, the girls starting a new school, and month end, I was just done in. I felt that I couldn't leave at 5:00 without feeling great guilt over what needed to be done.
I know my manager has been trying to find the same balance in her life, so I asked her what advice she could give. She told me that I just need to get up and go home at 5:00. That the work will be there tomorrow. As long as I give her 100% while I am there, she wants to make sure I am able to give 100% to my family. She values me too much to have me burn out.
Later on in the day, I was having a hard time getting done what I needed to get done to meet my Service Level Agreement. I had an hour left to finish a region that normally takes 4 hours. So I went and asked her for advice. In the past every report had to be reviewed twice a month. We are trying to get them down to doing them once a month really well, then just clearing small balances at the end of the month. This is so very hard for me. I hate leaving one thing on a schedule that I know shouldn't be there. We decided that she would review what I had left and highlight the items I needed to clear off. I was to leave everything else alone. By doing this, I was able to leave work by 5:10.
I just need to learn that things do not have to be perfect! Its just so hard.
Having Fun While At Home!
I want to be able to go to the Gym three days a week for my aqua fit class, but I feel so horribly guilty, when I know hubby is at home with the kids. So I have come up with a plan to feel less guilty and have my hubby be able to have his own alone time.
The plan: I will go to the gym Tuesday, Thursday evenings and Saturday morning. Then Nolen will be able to go "Gaming" with his friends two Saturday's a month. That way I get my "Me" time and he gets his "Me" time. We are also going to plan a date night once a month where we can go be a couple. Then one weekend a month we will go see his Dad and Stepmom.
So tomorrow we are going to sit down, do our budget for the month and create the activity calendar for the month. I am taking my sister's suggestion, that you must schedule it, if you are going to do it.
Wish us luck, because we need this "living" part of our lives to happen. I am sick of working, then dropping dead from mental and physical exhaustion every day.
With reducing my work hours, fitting in some fun time, I hope to be a happy Jennifer very soon. No one should live life on autopilot. We are here for such a short time. Our kids are little for an even shorter time. I don't want to look back and have missed it all.