Since I had left my career in the automotive industry in May of last year, things had going pretty well. I left so that I would be able to be home with my kids and work toward my teacher certification. That is until I went off my path.
In January, I went down a path of shortcuts. I will not go into details, but basically, I stopped working toward my goal of becoming a teacher and started working toward a goal of making money as fast as I could. But life doesn't work that way. There are no shortcuts. No fast ways of doing something. You need to work hard and be persistent.
My original goal was to find a part time job to earn the money to cash flow my teacher certification and get us into a house. Instead of finding a traditional part time job, I decided to try something where I could work from home. But the amount of work and money that I had to put into it, did not result in any money coming in. We started to get behind on our bills. Stress and anxiety became the norm and it became clear I had made a mistake.
I have spent the past month in a severe depression filled with anxiety. I have contemplated returning to work full time. Full of doubt and scared of spiraling out of control, I sought help from a friend. She has helped me get through the rough points and guided me to have faith. I ended up praying a lot to God to show me where I had gone wrong.
What resulted was me having a dream that was very vivid. It showed me going back to work full time, back in the automotive industry. In the dream I was at work and I kept running around the cubicles crying and looking for my daughter. Every time I came up on a sign of her, she would disappear again. It was horrible! There was no way I could go back to that way of life.
I woke up and there was a voice in my head that said, "What was your goal that you have forgotten? That is what you need to go back to." It was like that light bulb moment I have been searching for the past month. My goal when I left work was to get a part time job and go back to school and get my teaching degree. My goal got lost along the way.
Becoming a teacher will fulfill my lifelong dream. Just ask my family, for as long as I can remember, that is what I wanted to be. Teaching, beyond fulfilling my dream, will allow me to have summers and holidays off with my girls. I will have the fulfillment of working and giving to people. It will not be easy. It will not make me a millionaire. There is no fast way to make money, it takes hard work, diligence and perseverance.
I will be getting a part time job as soon as possible. I will continue with our family business we have been working on opening (to allow us to participate in our hobby). I will go back to school as soon as I possibly can. I will use this as a lesson to make sure I stay on the right path.
So here I go, back on track to accomplish what it was that I set out to do, so very long ago.